Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Hardest Part..

The hardest part of someone you love passing away, besides having to accept it, is facing the times when you realize that they're gone all over again. The times you wake up from those dreams about them that feel like memories instead of dreams. The times when you walk into your house, and look around expecting to see them, then realizing they're not there. The most recent I've experienced, seeing someone who looks almost exactly like them, and think that its your lost loved one. Have a moment where you believe they never left, that the sickness, the death, the pain...it was all just a bad dream. You feel the happiness, the hope, the rising feeling of joy, then all the sudden your brain kicks in, and reality checks you in the heart. You're like a shooting start falling 30,000 mph out of the sky just to crash land on some unknown point on the earth. It feels like some one punched you in the stomach, threw you to the ground, and curb stomped you. Everything hurts your soul aches. It's bad enough you had to lose them once, but when it happens all over again it's ten times worse. It hurts so bad. Loss is never good, but when you lose something that you love repeatedly, you're never the same again.

My advice to you today is to love now, be happy always, and thankful for the people around you. If you love someone tell them, before it's to late, because you never know what tomorrow holds. Always let go of negativity and forgive. Most important open your heart to the unknown.

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